Bad Decisions
by EternallyEC
Summary: Natalie makes a colassal mistake can John find a way to forgive her for it while raising a child who might not be his own?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, don't sue.

**Author's Notes: **There is nothing more fun than to hear Natalie's voice in your head saying the last line of this chapter, and then get to create a story around it!

**Title: **Bad Decisions

Natalie Buchanan was still unclear about what exactly had happened that night. Just before she'd left work she had gotten into a huge fight with John, and so she had gone to Xanadu to get drunk and try to think about anything but him. The man had been hot when she was sober, and the drunker she got the more she wanted him. She closed her eyes, fighting back the memory but it came anyway…

One minute Natalie was smiling at Larry, and the next thing she knew she was waking up in an unfamiliar room. Her brain frantically tried to find the missing pieces of the puzzle, but she didn't remember anything. She moved the covers back and looked down, scared even more to see she was wearing a long shirt that was obviously not her own. Her clothes were neatly folded in a nearby chair, and she grabbed them on her way into the bathroom.

_Once she was inside with the door locked, she began to hyperventilate as she realized she had no idea what she'd done the night before. Her head was throbbing and she blinked back tears as she quickly changed. She walked out of the bathroom, grabbing her purse and heading to the door, wondering what she would do if she saw Larry. Thankfully she didn't have to find out, as he was gone somewhere._

_Outside of the house, she looked around trying to figure out where she was. Not recognizing anything, she took a deep breath, swallowed her pride and dialed John's phone number. He answered, and she began to sob as she heard his voice. "John? I—I need you." She described her surroundings and he was able to tell her where she was, although she didn't tell him everything. How on earth could she?_

Natalie had immediately had STD testing done and they all came back negative. A few days after getting the results she had realized that she couldn't continue putting herself and John through the pain that her stubbornness was causing them. She had admitted that she'd forgiven him weeks ago and they'd made love that night. 

Natalie was the happiest she'd ever been until a month later. That was when she had gone to mark her calendar for a special getaway with John and realized she was three days late. For some women that wasn't such a big thing, but for Natalie it was a huge red flag. Praying that she was wrong, she had gone by the drugstore after work and picked up a home pregnancy test. Somehow she had known the results even before the test had come out positive.

That had been eight months ago. The doctor had been unable to pinpoint a precise date of conception, and his estimate had fallen directly in the middle. She had no idea how to determine who the father of her child was, but she couldn't tell John that.

John was so happy when he heard the news, happier than she could have hoped. He had pampered her throughout the pregnancy and although her mood swings had caused some fights, they always made up.

Natalie was jerked roughly back to the present when the baby kicked her. She rubbed her stomach, grimacing from the pain. She'd been up all the night because of the kicking and she had already told John that their child was going to be in the NFL somebody with a foot like that. She was feeling snappish because of that and the fact that her fiancée was being very overprotective of late didn't help. Groaning, she stood to her feet and started to walk to the door.

She would never know if it was the fact that the baby kicked her at the wrong moment, her general annoyance at John for being so damn stubborn, or if maybe the secret just needed to come out that caused it to happen. John asked her something about "his" baby, and it came out of Natalie's mouth before she could think about it.

"Damn it, John! This might not even BE your baby!" Her hands flew to her mouth, but it was too late. John looked at her, absolutely stunned as his mind tried to absorb her words.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Bad Decisions Part 2 Disclaimers: I own nothing, please don't sue. Recaps: Natalie recalled having a blackout after talking to a cute guy named Larry at Xanadu, then waking up in his bed wearing his T-shirt. She called John to come pick her up but didn't tell him what had happened. Then (after having STD testing done) she admitted to John that she loved him and was ready for another chance. They made love, and she soon found out that she was pregnant. She didn't know who the father was for certain. Then, 9 months into the pregnancy, she let the cat out of the bag… 

Previously

"Damn it, John! This might not even BE your baby!" Her hands flew to her mouth, but it was too late. John looked at her, absolutely stunned as his mind tried to absorb her words.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…" Natalie murmured as she desperately stumbled for the door, tears blurring her vision. John felt like someone had ripped the heart from his chest as he watched her, tears filling his eyes. This child, the baby he loved so much already, might belong to another man? How could she have done this to him? His mind was racing but it suddenly registered that she was opening the door and stumbling outside.

He followed her, grabbing her arm and leading her back inside. She followed without protest, her head bowed as tears streamed down her cheeks. He pointed to the couch wordlessly and she sat, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. "Why?" The word came out a strangled gasp, and she met his eyes. "I—" She shook her head and buried her face in her hands. Suddenly she felt his hands gently but firmly forcing her chin up so that their gazes met.

"Why, Natalie? Why would you keep something like that from me?" She wanted to jerk her gaze from his but his hands held her head steady. "Tell me!" A sob tore from her throat at the anguish and fury she heard in his voice. "You want to know why? I don't know myself what happened that night! I went out to get drunk because you and I had another of our huge fights. I was talking to this guy, then the next thing I know I'm waking up in a stranger's bed wearing his T-shirt. I was terrified, John." She could see the wheels turning in his brain as he slowly said, "The day that you called me." She nodded.

"I had the STD testing done and then when the results came back negative it was like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But I couldn't sleep for a long time because this little voice in my brain would whisper about the things I might have done. I have no idea what happened between me and Larry, and to be honest that still scares the hell out of me." Her tears and words were both coming faster now as she rid herself of this guilt she had borne for almost a year.

"Then I found out that I might be pregnant and for the slightest second I was overjoyed. But then—" Her breath catches in her throat. "I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that you would leave and I'd never have a father for my baby." John's voice was thick with anger and laced with pain as he replied bitterly, "I would've been here for you. I wouldn't have left without finding out if this baby is mine, and if you had told me before we might have had a chance of coming back from this."

She nodded slowly, wanting to protest but knowing she had no right. She stood up with some difficulty and reached down to touch his cheek before slowly walking out of the apartment. The door clicked shut, and on the outside Natalie leaned back against the wall trying to stop the flood of tears. On the inside, John turned so that he was leaning back against the couch as he ran his hands over his face and wondered what the hell he was going to do.

Two weeks later, John nervously looked at the carriage house door before taking a deep breath and knocking. Natalie opened the door, her face tearstained and puffy. She looked at him silently, expecting to be berated again. Instead he merely gave her the slightest hint of a smile and asked to come in. She held the door open, silently giving him permission.

He walked in, looking at the large mess around him. There were dishes piled up in the sink, there was a blanket tossed on the floor from where Natalie had obviously just thrown it down when she came to the door, and there was trash everywhere. He turned to her and she shrugged. "I haven't felt much like housekeeping." She doubled over, grimacing. John was at her side in an instant, guiding her by the arm to sit on the couch. She sat back up after the pain had passed, breathing slowing as she glanced at his hand on her shoulder. She slowly looked up to meet his eyes.

"John," she whispered as his lips slowly closed on hers. He sat on the couch beside her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her as close as her large belly would allow. His hand slipped down to caress her belly, thrilling at the feel of the baby's answering kick. "God, I've missed this." She smiled against his lips. "I have too. But-" She pushed him back slightly, her hand unconciously rubbing her stomach as she gathered the strength she needed.

"I need to know that this isn't just because of the baby. Are you willing to be with me, or just be in the baby's life? Either way, I understand. I just need to know where we stand." John sighed, his hand moving over her hair. Hadn't he spent the last four days going over this in his mind? He hadn't reached a decision but looking into her eyes he knew that his answer was there. "I love you, Natalie. I understand that you went through something horrible, and given our past experience with secrets you should have known better than to try to hide it, but to be honest it is hardly any worse than what I did. I can't hold you responsible for being frightened and hurt, especially when I think about the nights I woke up to find you covered in sweat and shaking in my arms."

She smiled, embracing him tightly as he kissed her forehead. "I'm going to be here for you no matter what. I promise. Even if it turns out--" He swallowed. "If this baby isn't mine, I'm still going to love him or her as though they were my own. You have my word on that."

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Note: **I'm not too sure about the time it took John to come to these conclusions, or about his little speech. RE the time span though, the girl is about to bust (over 9 months pregnant hello) so he didn't have the luxury time to be angry.


	3. Chapter 3 SMUT

**Bad Decisions: ****Part 3**

**_SMUTTY! _**

**Disclaimers:** I own only Tara.

**Rating: **NC-17!

**Author's Notes: **The soap opera and storyline mentioned here is one that really sickens me, but I know a good many people who enjoy it so I left it unnamed. :)

Recaps: Natalie recalled having a blackout after talking to a cute guy named Larry at Xanadu, then waking up in his bed wearing his T-shirt. She called John to come pick her up but didn't tell him what had happened. Then (after having STD testing done) she admitted to John that she loved him and was ready for another chance. They made love, and she soon found out that she was pregnant. She didn't know who the father was for certain. Then, 9 months into the pregnancy, she let the cat out of the bag. Natalie told him everything about Larry, then stormed out. About two weeks later John came to see her and told her he still loved her and would be there for the baby whether it was his or not. 

Previously

She smiled, embracing him tightly as he kissed her forehead. "I'm going to be here for you no matter what. I promise. Even if it turns out--" He swallowed. "If this baby isn't mine, I'm still going to love him or her as though they were my own. You have my word on that."

The night John had forgiven her Natalie slept peacefully for the first time since Larry. She was wrapped in the arms of the man who loved her despite her faults and huge mistakes. The baby seemed to sense her peace and was quieter, although she could feel him moving around.

The next morning, Natalie's eyelids fluttered open when she felt John's hand caressing her stomach and the baby's answering kick. She smiled when she saw that John was still asleep, a small smile on his face. She covered his hand with hers, leaning forward and brushing a soft kiss across his lips. The light contact was enough to wake him, and he yawned as he leaned in to give her a real morning kiss. Their tongues met in a short, sweet dance and he smiled impishly at her.

"You know that's not fair." She pouted. The doctor had given her strict instructions not to have sex once she had reached a certain point, and John seemed determined to drive her crazy in the meantime. "He said no intercourse, so that just means I get to drive." He smiled at her as his hand slowly drifted away from her belly to pull her shirt up and move underneath it. Natalie moaned and lost her breath as his hand went to her unbound breasts, his fingers working magic as they glanced across her nipples. She sat up, helping him pull off her shirt and he captured her mouth in a ravaging kiss before moving his lips to her nipple, gently tugging on it with his mouth.

She moaned as he moved down her body, kissing her stomach gently and stopping to whisper for a moment. She smiled at the utter sweetness of the moment, and then he was moving onward to pull her panties down. She lifted her legs, helping him take them off and then spread them wide, welcoming him. His lips were feather-light as they moved up one thigh and down the other, repeating the process over and over again. With each trip he moved closer to her wet center.

"John," Natalie gasped, thrusting her hips upward. "Stop teasing me, please." He smiled and moved his attentions to her pulsating core. She bit her knuckle to keep from screaming as his mouth and tongue worked their magic. He pushed her to her first climax but didn't stop there. He pushed her over peak and peak until she was spent. He then climbed up her body, stopping again to kiss and talk to her stomach, and capturing her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. "You know, maybe we shouldn't be allowed to have sex anymore."

Two days later, Natalie was in the middle of her favorite soap opera when John heard a scream. He ran in to find Natalie staring at the screen in horror. "What happened?" "Oh my god this show is sick!" She shuddered and changed the channel. "I refuse to watch that show anymore." John laughed and didn't press the matter. He just dropped a kiss on the top of her head and walked out of the room.

It was just a few days after the soap opera incident that it happened. Natalie was having tea with Viki and Jessica when suddenly her water broke. She looked at her mother and sister, smiling. "Well, I guess it's about time." She called John and he rushed her to the hospital.

After more hours of labor than she cared to recall Natalie was holding her small daughter in her arms. She smiled down at her, tears bright in her eyes as she gently touched the tiny cheek. Just then the door swung open and John walked in, followed by the nurse. He had been unable to stomach the very end and so had gone to the gift shop instead. She smiled to see the flowers and a small pink teddy bear with a sign reading "I Love You and Mommy."

The nurse was there to get the baby's name, which she and John had picked out five months into her pregnancy. "Her name is Tara Eve McBain." She smiled as John's grin widened with surprise. She had snuck in the middle name as a special gift to the woman who had gone through so much and was still unafraid to live her life. The nurse smiled, complimenting the name as she wrote it down and left.

"Do you have any idea how excited my mom's going to be?" She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "You're nervous, aren't you? About being a father?" He nodded, not really surprised that she had seen through him. "Yeah, I am. I didn't even realize it while she was safe inside of you, protected. But now she's out here and no matter how much I try, I can't protect her all the time."

"I know. That scares me too," Natalie admitted. "But maybe being good parents isn't about not letting her get hurt—maybe it's about just being there for her when she does." John shook his head and gently took Tara into his arms for the first time. He had been afraid that he would hold her and have a vision of Natalie in another man's arm, but the baby was perfect and held his attention fully. His hand gently cupped the top of her head, smoothing down the fuzz that already looked like it was red.

"She's so perfect." Natalie smiled. "I know. It's like—it's unbelievable that something so perfect can come from such a messed up situation." Her eyes were glinting with tears as John reached his hand over and took it in his, moving so he was sitting on the bed next to her. "Tara has my last name and in my heart she is my daughter. This DNA test isn't going to change a thing." He leaned down to give her a sweet kiss as the nurse walked in.

"I'm sorry, but Tara is scheduled for a DNA test?" John smiled encouragingly at Natalie as he handed the nurse the baby very carefully. They clasped hands as they watched them leave the room, needing each other's strength.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: I own only Tara. 

**Dedication: **This one is for Dana for giving me the idea about a certain little something… She knows what!

Recaps: Natalie recalled having a blackout after talking to a cute guy named Larry at Xanadu, then waking up in his bed wearing his T-shirt. She called John to come pick her up but didn't tell him what had happened. Then (after having STD testing done) she admitted to John that she loved him and was ready for another chance. They made love, and she soon found out that she was pregnant. She didn't know who the father was for certain. Then, 9 months into the pregnancy, she let the cat out of the bag. Natalie told him everything about Larry, then stormed out. About two weeks later John came to see her and told her he still loved her and would be there for the baby whether it was his or not. Then the baby was born. She was a little girl whom they named Tara Eve McBain. John assured Natalie that the DNA test wouldn't change how he felt about Tara. The nurse came in to take her for the DNA testing. 

Previously

"I'm sorry, but Tara is scheduled for a DNA test?" John smiled encouragingly at Natalie as he handed the nurse the baby very carefully. They clasped hands as they watched them leave the room, needing each other's strength.

John's hands trembled as he looked down at the results. What was within wouldn't change anything he tried to tell himself. But in his heart he knew better. He looked down in the crib and watched Tara sleeping. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Natalie standing there in her robe. "What are you doing up? We're supposed to sleep when she does remember?" He nodded and held up the official looking envelope in his hands. "Results came in."

Her eyes widened and she let her hand drop. "Right." She searched his eyes, and something she saw in them scared her. "John?" He blinked back tears and making a sudden decision he slowly and deliberately tore the envelope to pieces. "I would love her just as much if I knew she wasn't mine," he whispered. "But I'm afraid that if I knew for sure she was another man's I wouldn't be able to give her the kind of father she deserves." Natalie reached up to cup his cheek, her fingers brushing away the tears that were now spilling as tears filled her own.

"John, I love you so much." She pulled him over to the rocking chair and he sit down. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling his head down against her breast. She stroked his hair softly and kissed the top of his head fiercely as she comforted him. After a few moments he lifted his head so that their eyes met in an electric gaze, and he slowly leaned forward to capture her lips in a sweetly passionate kiss.

Two months later, Natalie and Tara were at the grocery store shopping for a romantic dinner Natalie had planned for John that night. She groaned to see the candles on an impossibly high shelf. She reached futilely for them anyway, stamping her foot angrily when it didn't work. Just then a familiar voice asked, "Which one do you want?"

Natalie's blood ran cold as she turned her eyes to see Larry standing in front of her. When he saw her, his face mirrored her shocked expression. "Natalie?" He tried to regain some semblance of composure as he said, "You know, you ran out on me that morning before I had a chance to explain." She crossed her arms over her breasts protectively. "Explain what?" He shook his head. "I know what you had to have thought when you woke up in my shirt. It wasn't what you thought though."

She looked confused. "What do you mean?" "You passed out at the bar, and I didn't know where you lived or anything about you other than your first name, so I brought you to my place. I wanted you to be comfortable so I put you in my shirt with the lights off. I didn't peek, Scout's Honor. Then I went and slept on the couch. The next morning I had gone to get some breakfast and when I came back you were gone."

Natalie let out a sound that was a mixture of joy and relief as she slumped against the basket, saying a silent prayer. "Larry, thank you so much. You have no idea how terrified I have been about this… I didn't even know if you or my husband was the father of my child." For the first time, Larry seemed to notice the baby in the basket and he came to get a closer look.

"She's beautiful," he whispered, watching Tara grab his finger with her fisted hand. He turned around, smiling. "Congratulations. I'm glad that I ran into you because I've felt very guilty for having left that morning. I needed to make sure you weren't in any kind of pain because of stupidity on my part, and I'm glad that I was able to put your fears to rest." He leaned in, kissing her cheek and walked away.

Natalie smiled, her heart overflowing with joy as she walked on air to the front of the store. She had some very exciting news for her husband…

THE END!


End file.
